TWINKIE TWINKIE LITTLE STAR (Ginoli)

He’s in his PJs, 
Giving BJs
To the DJs who play what he likes, 
He’s burning bright, shining in the night 
He’s a brand new sight on the party scene

He’s dropping trou, almost by the hour 
He’s a pretty flower, and he’s in full bloom 
Right off the farm, with a little charm 
Setting off alarms when he starts to talk

Twinkie twinkie little star
Popular in every bar
New in town, getting around, 
Twinkie little star 

His creamy thighs always get a rise 
From all kinds of guys, he knows how to work it 
But he’ll stop and blink when he has to think 
Pour another drink, cause that’s what he’s good at

The silly lies that he tells the guys 
Come as no surprise, it’s all part of the package 
But it doesn’t last, cause it gets old fast 
At least he had a blast, till he landed in rehab

Read his t-shirt, then grab a tissue
It says “Cancel my subscription,
I don’t need your issues.”

AVERAGE MEN (Ginoli)

Sittin’ in a diner at 3 AM    
Next to a table of average men
Logos covering their clothes
NASCAR, Bad Boys, Bud Light, Hooters!
I sit there and let them be
They make a point to laugh at me
Sittin’ in a diner at 3 AM
A target of the average men

Sittin’ in a diner at 3 AM
Stared at by the average men
They think that they’re living right
Disagree, they’ll start a fight
They bait me, but I resist
Still their hard looks persist
Violence is a glance away
If the average men get their way  

Sittin’ in a diner at 3 AM
Listening in on the average men
Trying to overhear their talk
Find out what they’re all about
They didn’t have very much to say
Talkin’ bout the food they ate that day
Didn’t eat lunch, they were pretty broke
Had some M&Ms and a Diet Coke…

RIDE BABY (Freeman)

Hello there
You’ve got my attention
You look like trouble
Heading my direction
Your kind of crazy is just what I’m here to find

One kiss
And I’m feeling something growin’
Your eyes
Tell me all I need to know and
You’re only here for one thing but I don’t really mind

So come on over and
Ride baby, ride baby
Come right on over and
Ride baby, ride baby
We’ll go all night now, just
Ride baby, ride baby
We’re gonna burst at the seams

Throw your arms up
I’ll tear your shirt off
Kick your feet up
Your shoes and socks off
Pull back your legs
And show me what I’m hoping to find

Throw my arms up
You tear my shirt off
Kick my feet up
My shoes and socks off
Pull back my legs
I’ll show you what you’re hoping to find

You won’t regret it, just
Ride baby, ride baby
Then turn it over, I’ll
Ride baby, ride baby
Before it’s over, you’ll
Ride baby, ride baby
Until we burst at the seams

Put on the headphones
And turn out the lights
And let me lick you into
Heaven tonight
I’ll keep you right on the edge until you’re ready to scream

And when you do then I’ll
Ride baby, ride baby
Come on and let it, just
Ride baby, ride baby
You won’t forget it now
Ride baby, ride baby
Until we burst at the seams

Ride baby, ride baby
What are you doing
For the rest of your life?
Ride baby, ride baby
Can you imagine
Doing this every night?
Ride baby, ride baby
I thought I’d never find a man who’s as lucky as me

Ride baby, ride baby
Looks like you’re mine baby
Ride baby, ride baby
Look so divine baby
Ride baby, ride baby

I thought I’d never find a man who’s as lucky as me

SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS (Reader)

I can’t believe you or I can’t believe my ears
Did I just hear you ask, “What’s up with all these queers?”
You should watch your mouth
This is not the South
And you never know who’ll overhear

Some of my best friends are those guys who make you sick
Some of my best friends like to suck a little dick
“So what if they do” is not your point of view
So, one of my best friends won’t be you

I may not be gay but I know this much is true:
I’d rather fuck an asshole than be one just like you
This is not a threat
Or at least, not yet
But you’d better watch your ass around straight people too

Some of my best friends
Some of my best, best friends
Some of my best friends
Some of my best, best friends
Some of my best friends
Some of my best, best friends
Some of my best friends
Some of my best, best friends 

THAT’S SO GAY (Freeman)

I heard what you said, I’m not stupid you know
What do you take me for, hetero?
The next time you say it make sure I can’t hear
Cuz you’re pissing me off, is that clear?

What’d he say? He said, “that’s so gay”
What’d he say? He said, “that’s so gay”
And if you say it again
There’ll be hell to pay
I’ll show you what it means to be gay 

I heard what you said, just a figure of speech
If you meant nothing by it, practice what you preach
The next time you say it you’d better think twice
Some pissed off faggot might not take it too nice

What’d he say? He said, “that’s so gay”
What’d he say? He said, “that’s so gay”
And if you say it again
There’ll be hell to pay
I’ll show you what it means to be gay

I heard what you said, I’m not stupid you know
What do you take me for, breeder?
The next time you say it, make sure I can’t hear
Cuz you’re pissing me off and you’re not even queer

OBSESSED WITH ME (Ginoli)

I saw it on the bathroom wall 
I read it in the toilet stall
You can find it anywhere at all
You’re obsessed with me

Truckstop on an interstate
In a dressing room backstage
Even when you’re with a girl on a date 
You’re obsessed with me

You’re obsessed with me 
With desire and hate
Cause I dare to do 
What fills you with shame

Ted Haggard, Larry Craig
Getting caught getting laid
There’s a price to be paid
When you’re obsessed with me 

Repulsion and attraction 
The repressed dying for action 
Public face, private reaction
Obsessed with me

Who takes it? Who gives it?
Who fakes it? Who lives it?
Forbidden sex has you obsessed
Wondering when you’ll be doin’ it next

20 YEARS OF COCK (Ginoli)

I’m getting older
But I’m getting bolder
Well yeah I’m aging
But I’m still raging
I’m getting grayer
But feeling gayer
I’m not ailing
But I might use the railing

I’ve had 20 years of cock
And I’m never gonna stop
I’ve had 20 years of cock
And I’m never gonna stop…

10, 20, 30 years of cock…40, 50, 60 years of cock!

And when I’m old
In my rocking chair
I’ll have a grandfather clock
And some grandfather cock oh yeah!

WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME (Freeman/Ginoli)

Sex with you is the best around 
Life with you has me gagged and bound
The sheets are always stained
But it’s time that I abstain
You’re making me insane
What’s in it for me

Your whole life you’ve been miserable
But it’s you who’s responsible
Trying to lay the blame
On the person that you’re laying
Is pushing me away
What’s in it for me

What’s in it for me
You’re bringing me down, down, down
What’s in it for me
What’s in it for meIt almost felt like love
When you put away the drugsIt’s killing me to stay
What’s in it for me

All we do is fight or get it on all night
Between the two extremes we can’t seem to agree
And I’m not here to fix you, dear
That’s up to you not me

You can’t see from my point of view
Or you’d know why I’m asking you
To tell me what’s the point
If all I do is disappoint
What else can I say
What’s in it for me
What’s in it for me
You’re dragging me down, down, down
What’s in it for me
What’s in it for meIt almost felt like love
And that’s something I could have been proud of
But I can’t stay another day
What’s in it for me

YOU’LL SEE THEM AGAIN (Ginoli)

Someday, you’ll turn with a glance
And you will see, by happenstance
An apparition of a long lost love
And it’ll feel like a gift from above

He’ll resemble some old flame
But time has passed, he’d look different today
You’ll stop in your tracks, frozen with a stare
In disbelief at what you’re seeing there 

You’ll see them again, 
You’ll see them again
In the faces of younger men
When you least expect it you’ll see them again 

Study his features, nearly the same
But a different person, a different name
To say a word, would be absurd
Better say nothing, and just observe

It’s not about clinging to the past
It’s about remembering what didn’t last
But a visit is nice, if just for a minute
To imagine a day that had him in it

DIRTY YOUNG MAN (Ginoli)

I’ve got a dirty young man
And I’m so grateful
My dirty young man
He’s a plateful
He’s so smart, so precocious
So intense, so ferocious

He grew up with internet porn
Now he’s out and blowing his horn
He knows what he wants to be
And I’m so glad he gives it to me

You’re a dirty young man
And I love it
You’re a dirty young man
And you know where to shove it (And I know where to shove it)
Dirty young man
I’m your number one fan
You’re a dirty young man

My dirty young man
Is totally sexual
Watch him move
I can bet you will
Every move just radiates lust
I’m trying hard to keep up

All this burning
Young man intensity
Energy to supply a whole city
Never wants an intermission
Bursting out like nuclear fission

IT’S JUST A JOB Freeman/Ginoli/Reader)

Another guy is knocking on our door
There are nights you hate it when your man is a whore
At first I objected, but then he made me see
It’s just sex, not making love—he saves that for me

It’s just a job somebody’s gotta do
It’s just a job and the pay is good too
You’d think I’d be jealous but why should I be?
The fact of the matter is that he makes more money than me

Now he’s gone out on another house call
He’s gonna give it to someone else and I don’t mind at all
I’m through with being possessive, I’m done with laying claims
And if I were in his shoes, I would do the same

He’s never done anything to jeopardize and condoms are a must
I’m the man that he comes home to, he’s the man I trust

Cuz it’s just a job somebody’s gotta do
It’s just a job but I wish he wouldn’t screw
He’s in the oldest profession with a Master’s Degree
The fact of the matter is that he makes more money than me

PAT ME ON THE ASS (Ginoli)

Playing high school football
Really is a gas
I hope we win so all
My buddies can pat me on the ass

Pat me on the ass (On the ass!)
Pat me on the ass (On the ass!)
Pat me on the ass I’m a winner every time

Our quarterback’s a hottie
And when he makes a pass
I wish he’d make one at me
Or at least pat me on the ass

Pat me on the ass (On the ass!)
Pat me on the ass (On the ass!)
Pat me on the ass I’m a winner every time

I love our wide receiver
Cause when he makes the catch
I always try to be the first 
To pat him on the ass

Our coach is my role model
He’s got so much class
I want to make the big play
So he’ll pat me on the ass

Pat me on the ass (On the ass!)
Pat me on the ass (After class!)
Pat me on the ass (On the ass!)
Pat me on the ass (After class!)
Pat me on the ass I’m a winner every time

NEVER YOU MIND (Freeman)

I keep my business to myself ‘cause that’s the way I like it, you see
Alright
If only you’d learn to show the same restraint as me 
Alright
I can’t help thinking how’d you ever get to live to be as dumb as you are
Alright
You must be doing something right‘ cause Darwin’s let you get this far
Alright

Never you mind…

This goes out to all the people trying to tell me how things outta be
Alright
It just ain’t none of your business what I’m doing in my own privacy
Alright
And don’t go quoting the Bible trying to scare me with that bullshit and lies
Alright
I don’t believe it, you can’t prove it and Jesus would have been on my side
Alright

Never you mind…

LIFE LOVERS (Ginoli)

We’re grown up now, over the trauma
Of young lust and teenage drama
On the Kinsey scale you’re in the middle
It took me years to work out your riddle
We might not meet for a year or two 
Living far apart but our feelings stay true…

Won’t mind my boyfriend
Won’t mind your wife
We’ll stay close friends
For the rest of our lives
Won’t be a secret
Or undercover
Lovers for life
We’re life lovers

No box to check on the census form
Unless they’ve got one that says “don’t conform”
Won’t live a lie, won’t need permission
We’ll invent a brand new tradition
No estate to settle, no divorce battles
No trial separations, just an understanding

Won’t mind my boyfriend
Won’t mind your wife
We’ll stay close friends
For the rest of our lives
Won’t be a secret
Or undercover
Lovers for life
We’re life lovers